Car Loss

I was just in a car accident a few days ago and believe me for the first time I really saw death in front of my eyes: it happened on a bridge and I thought I was going down the bridge, so when the car stopped I was so happy to be alive that I got out of it right away, walked around; pulled the car out of the highway, called 911, and insurance, I forgot all about the pain I had in my back and later on, in the emergency room I had to pay for all these moving around's big time! but still I don't give a damn about the pain or the car, still so happy to be alive.I can't die yet thinkin' of what my mom would do without me ; she's not strong enough to tolerate that...
I'm ashamed to confess though that just the day before I was thinkin' of death and how easy it is. Once in a while I think about it and every time I think I'm really ready; and this time that it's gonna happen I'm thinkin' OMG flying down the bridge was not my ideal way of dying, this is way much scarier than any roller coaster I've ever been on!!!!!
Any hook; now, anytime I get depreseed I don't think of death anymore, thinkin' that I might see it in front of my eyes tomorrow! and STILL I owe a lot of prayers and stuff! So I'm enjoying it right now: going a lil wild with the car I wanna buy (lookin' at sports cars first, so I can fly with them on the road!! crazy huh?!)